Running the Life-Race at YOUR Pace

Do most days feel like you shoot out of bed at the sound of a starting gun and don’t stop until you collapse into bed at night, exhausted and wondering why on earth the earth can’t just chill and coast a little bit in its rotation around the sun? Do you wish you could run the Life-Race at YOUR pace?

We’re all trying to pack a little too much DO in our days.

Meanwhile, we feel the physiological and emotional blowback of too little BE.

Do vs. Be reveals itself as exhaustion, in the feeling that we can never accomplish all that we want to, in irritability, or feeling that we live to work rather than work to live and enjoy the life we’ve worked so hard to build.

Society has somehow flipped the script and made us (women especially) feel as though we’re slackers if our schedule isn’t jam-packed with work, extracurricular activities, checking off all the life boxes, and copious tossing about of that four-letter word ‘BUSY.’

Know what I think about that word? I think… 

‘Busy’ is the drum we beat to make our lives sound meaningful.

We’ve exalted busy in favor of simple pleasures.

Instead of connecting with what truly matters (a life rich with meaning and connection with ourselves and our people) we’re connecting the dots from one task to the next, and exhausting ourselves in the process.

When we put our endless list of tasks ahead of self-care, the relentless drumbeat echoes throughout all aspects of our lives. Hollow. Pounding. Too loud.

I felt this on a recent Sunday. If you’ve read my SOUL NEEDS post, you’ll know I try really hard to make Sunday a verb. My life is simply happier when there’s downtime planned for my week.

Why planned? Well, because I want my appointment with my inner self to be as important as an appointment with my dentist or my pap smear. Shouldn’t it be? They’re all forms of self-care.

Problem is, we file downtime under “optional.”

A big NO-NO.

This particular Sunday, I was tempted to blow off my own rule. I’d accumulated a list of unfinished biz throughout the week and felt the pull of THE LIST more than the pull of the Soul Needs time. I was truly torn. My compromise was to alternate a to-do item with a bit of downtime. I vacuumed but then we took a long country walk with Gatsby and Frodo, the wonder pups. After the walk, we got busy and dusted off the patio furniture in preparation for outdoor weather. Later, we enjoyed a glass of wine by the fire pit and relished each other’s company. The day was a compromise, a nice mix of getting things done and taking care to enjoy our lives at a slower pace. It wasn’t as satisfyingly decadent as an entire day off but I didn’t completely cross myself off the list, either.

Not once have I regretted taking some time to just chill and do what makes my soul happy. Not once have I wished I’d been more “productive” when I’ve prioritized time to enjoy my life, my people, or even my pile of “spa day” products.

Downtime never feels like time wasted. In fact, I find that there’s a great time warp paradox at play; when I’m rested and refreshed, I’m much more able to tackle my to-do list with ample time and frankly, I’m much more pleasant to be around while I do.

Numerous studies have shown that downtime actually increases productivity, problem-solving, creativity, innovation, and connectedness. There’s a reason major companies like Google provide employees with various ways to unplug and reboot.

It makes them better worker bees!

So, how can YOU put DOWNTIME at the top of your list?

SCHEDULE IT.

Ideally, you’d pad your daily schedule with at least fifteen minutes of Soul Needs time just to knock down your stress-o-meter. Barring that, you can schedule one day per week to have significant periods of downtime. It would be lovely if it was a whole day but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes, it’s just not possible. Just a couple of unstructured hours can do wonders for your body and mind.

Downtime can be moved around, but not canceled. This week, my fiancé and I are planning a day trip to the village at Squaw Valley to celebrate his birthday. Since we’re doing this on a Friday, it’s fine to be flexible with our usual Sunday downtime. We’ve simply moved it from Sunday to Friday. Consider your scheduled downtime a sacred appointment. It is not optional but it is flexible.

SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS OF YOURSELF.

The To-do list is never done. Accept that. There is never a magic day where you can relax because you’ve earned it by getting every other single thing accomplished. Why not live the reality that there will always be more to do but you’ve made time to take care of the doer.

ROUTINES.

My sister and her roommate have one day on the weekends where they don’t even get out of their jammies. I love this because it’s a blatant declaration that it’s “chill day.” Who wants to take on the world in their sleepwear? Pajamas are the uniform of the CHILL ARMY. Join us. We’ve got jammies.

My daughter and I have a routine “spa night” on Sunday nights. This allows for crucial bonding time with nice skin and nails as a bonus! Turning downtime into pleasurable routines will not only make you look forward to your downtime but also keep you more accountable.

DITCH THE SMARTPHONE FOR A SPELL.

Technology certainly makes aspects of our lives easier. Know what else it does? Sucks the seconds/minutes/hours out of our days. Don’t tell me you don’t possibly have time to nourish your body and soul with time off reading a great book or luxuriating in a bubble bath and then piss away your time on your phone checking emails that can wait, social media that will go on with your without you, and surfing the web.

There’s relief in being inaccessible for a little while. The world will still be there when you get back to it but I guarantee you’ll be more refreshed and happier.

RUN YOUR LIFE-RACE AT YOUR PACE. 

It’s too tempting to compare our lives and our accomplishments to other people. What I’m learning as I near the big five-OH, is that the only barometer for a happy and successful life is what I deem to be a happy and successful life. It’s MY life. I need to run this race at my own pace, and since I don’t know when the finish line will appear, I want to make sure I made time for what REALLY matters to me while I can.

I’m currently reading (LINK) A YEAR WITHOUT FEAR by Tama Kieves and am constantly amazed by how apt the particular day’s quote is for my life. How about this one:

“I am coming to see that free time is not indulgence, but a kind of vigilance. Knowing myself and knowing my dreams comes from having time. Without self-connection, I won’t have true direction.” – Tama Kieves

So, run the Life-Race at YOUR pace and be happier in the process. A little downtime goes a LOOOONG way.

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