What is it about midlife that can rattle so many of us?
Midlife women have wisdom that comes from many years of life and many lessons learned. We’re veterans of wars of the heart, battles in our professional lives, skirmishes with our bodies, and clashes in our family foxholes.
Because of all of that hard-won experience, we’re knowledgeable enough to council friends, children, and ourselves on the realities of life because, well, we’ve been there.
But now we’re HERE.
Maybe that’s what makes midlife scary…
1. IT’S NEW TERRITORY
Midlife is one of the transition times of life. It’s not a destination but a bridge. While real-life bridges make me highly uncomfortable (am I the only one who has those awful bridge dreams??) this metaphorical one doesn’t have to.
Okay, so we’ve suddenly become less sure of our footing. But instead of looking at midlife as a minefield of change, perhaps we see it as the safari of our wild lives; an adventure that holds new experiences and new opportunities to grow into the woman we’ve always known was within.
She’s been waiting.
2. IT’S NOT WHAT WE KNOW BUT WHAT WE DON’T
This is embarrassing to admit but I remember when I realized that hair turns gray…ahem…everywhere. (yeah, yeah laugh at me…) Should’ve been obvious, right? But I was surprised! Nobody warned me about this small indignity! There are lots of shifts and changes for midlife women, especially with our bodies and many women don’t have a Midlife Mentor. Depending on the generation, a lot of topics “just weren’t discussed” or were left sitting on a shelf like a memento we’ve always known was there but didn’t know the story behind it. Like motherhood, we don’t all have roadmaps and instructions on how to do this, leaving us questioning, “Am I
Advice from the trenches: If through your everyday choices, you’re elevating and supporting what’s highest in you and truly best for you, then you can’t “midlife” wrong. This is a time to give your Higher Self the stage.
3. ARE WE STILL BEAUTIFUL?
Tender
The Midlife Manifesto talks about midlife as being a time of knowing that our beauty doesn’t come from the eyes of others and that’s true. It’s very much an internal light but we do want it to shine in the harbor of others’ hearts.
We can overcome this fear by taking care of our physical selves in a way that supports vitality and by tending to our spirits, the throne of our beauty.
4.
Whether it’s the loss of a person we hold dear, the loss of a job or label, the loss of something or someone not meant for us, or a releasing of what’s no longer authentically ours, midlife is a letting go place and that can feel incredibly scary.
We realize that so much of what we have when we arrive at midlife has become a rope. Not just one of binding but the ropes of old, familiar things we cling to as if we’ll fall into a black abyss if we dare let go.
To overcome this, unclench your fingers and your heart. Let go.
You might find that the abyss was just the shallow mud of fear and that you’ve landed in a place where the signs have your name on them and will lead you to your highest good.
You will realize that letting 
5. DO WE STILL MATTER?
Of
Okay, that’s easy to say but sometimes hard to believe, right?
Kids are nearly grown (or already gone) and seem to need us less and less. Whippersnappers join the ranks at our jobs and have a knack for making us feel obsolete. Society sends the message that to age is to grow irrelevant and/or somehow unable to understand the nuances of current problems; never mind the nuances of our gadgets and electronics!
Midlife women often wonder if their time of relevancy is up. It’s scary to think we’re fading into the background of our lives and in society.
Pssst… Here’s the secret to overcoming this fear…
See it for the B.S. that it is! Don’t buy into it. While it’s important to listen to new voices and perspectives, it’s equally important to own our own wisdom and worth.
Here at Moxie Fruit, I do my best to stay positive but fears do sometimes creep in. When I was at a midlife low point: overweight, unhappy, and off-course in just about every facet of my life, I dove into my fears and created a plan to pull myself out of my midlife slump.
A final word about our fears… They are the fictions our smaller selves whisper in our ears.
Fears are just stories.
Since we are the ones creating them, we have a choice of which to tell. Whenever I hear the negative hiss of a fearful story in my head I know I can choose differently and so can you. I immediately say to myself, “I choose a differently.”
Choose to tell yourself different stories; ones that uplift, inspire, and empower. You’re a Queen. But if you feel rickety on your throne, go back and read the Midlife Manifesto to remind you of who you really are.
XO,
Tracy
