(Know Your Whys)
We are just one module away from formulating our flight M.A.P. (My action plan.) There is a definite purpose to the modules that have come before. You can’t make a plan to go somewhere if you have no idea where you want to go. Hopefully, the previous modules have gotten you clear on the ‘what’ for changes you need to make in order to Course Correct your life and set yourself on a flight path to where you truly want to be.
This module tackles the ‘why.’
I know that the future won’t arrive like a package on my doorstep full of all the amazing things I dream for myself. It will be the culmination of EVERY DAY actions; actions that are sometimes very hard to take in the face of obstacles, temptation, and busyness.
It’s a big thing to strive for transformation of all aspects of self: body, mind, soul. I was overwhelmed with the possibility and fear that I’d fail. I didn’t know exactly how I was going to accomplish that transformation yet. What I did know, was that I was straight-up tired of breaking promises to myself, of bartering and haggling with myself against my well-meaning Higher Self and it was starting to erode my self-respect.
In flying terms, lift is one of the four forces of flight. Flight is not possible without it.
I needed the thrust to gain enough momentum to achieve lift.
That meant I had to get leverage on myself.
Leverage is the push/pull of forces that propel you to action and keep you focused on the goals. It was necessary to give myself enough solid and motivating reasons that they would propel and support the changes I wanted to make. I also knew I needed to be keenly aware of all the reasons it would ultimately be bad to avoid making those changes. Positive/negative. Push/pull. I wanted both forces supporting my quest and giving lift to my dreams.
For every change you wish to make from your explorations in the previous module, no matter what segment that change is in: Body, Mind, Spirit, Relationships, etc., you need to get very clear on the WHY.
“To access leverage, you must help someone associate massive PAIN to not changing NOW, and massive PLEASURE to changing immediately. The motivation is based on both pain AND pleasure.” – Tony Robbins
This is a concept that works. I’ve used it in my own life and it truly helps to have this emotional pain/pleasure leverage on when your motivation or commitment is flagging.
For each zone of your life you’re choosing to Course Correct, I want you to write down the most specific point of pain if you do not make a change, and a specific point of pleasure you’ll feel having made the change.
All humans are motivated to either reduce pain or increase pleasure. Either will work as leverage. In fact, using both is ideal. It’s tackling the problem from both ends. Move away from the pain of not achieving your goals by making choices in support of those goals. Move toward the pleasure of working at and achieving your goals.
I promise you, there’s pleasure even in the incremental steps in the direction of your Higher Self. When we’re off course, the road feels painful because it’s the wrong road! Just putting yourself on the right path by changing course will instantly make you feel better and every day on that path will increase your momentum, self-satisfaction, peace of mind, and happiness—long before you reach concrete milestones.
It helps to have as many “whys” as possible for each change, so what I did was to brainstorm all the ways I’ll feel wonderful for changing course, and all the ways I’ll feel terrible if I didn’t. Ask yourself:
· How will I feel about myself?
· How will it affect the people in my life? My work? My health?
· What do I stand to lose if I don’t make this change?
· What will I gain by course-correcting and heading where I truly want to go?
I wanted to have massive leverage on myself. I recommend that, but it will suffice to choose the top, most emotionally charged pain/pleasure for each life zone.
For example:
Body
Pain: If I do not Course Correct now, I’m on a current course toward diabetes, immobility, health problems, and lack of confidence. The quality of my life will decrease, as will the years in my life.
Pleasure: If I Course Correct now, I will be healthier and more vibrant. Instead of regret and self-loathing, I will feel immense pride and accomplishment. My improved health will ripple out into all areas of my life.
No matter how much pain you associate with change i.e. “I’ll have to give up my nightly bottle of wine” you can flip the script. You can make the idea of that nightly bottle of wine so painful in consequence, you can make the life you’ll have without it so pleasurable, that you can get leverage on your initial fear of pain. This is important mental work. You’re deprogramming possibly years of self-defeating thought patterns. Your focus has probably been on what you’d have to give up or lose if you make a change. Flip the script! What will you lose if you don’t make a change? I’m betting that you stand to lose far more by staying stuck in a flight pattern that doesn’t serve your highest good.
Before you set out to accomplish goals, know what it is you’re hoping to achieve. Name the feelings you’re hoping to get or to avoid. You will be far more likely to achieve a goal, to change the course of your life, if you know WHY you’re doing so.
Action item:
· List your push and your pull; your WHYs. All the reasons you feel you must make these changes. Example: I will have more energy. I will be a good role model for my kids. I will have more confidence. I will live longer, be more successful, have great muscles, pride in myself, etc.
· Write down every positive reason you can think of to support the changes you wish to make.
· Place your “Whys” in prominent relevant locations and don’t let them become background noise. Or, make a note on your phone. The point is, have them accessible and look at them, every day. Go to them when you feel weak in your willpower to Course Correct.
