Once upon a time, I failed my Highest Self.
(Maybe this failing is a daily occurrence, if I’m being honest… In small ways and big, I often clumsily trample over that inner-Goddess of mine.)
I created an entire online course called, Course Correct. The project was born out of a sad, desperate weekend when I realized that I’d been ignoring the inner voice of what I call my Highest Self. I spend the weekend thinking of all the ways I sabotaged myself, and I was reeling from the self-inflicted pain of it.
That Highest Self chick had been whispering, chattering, then yelling in my soul for years, bless her patient, pig-headed heart. She knew what was best for me but I ignored her, I negotiated with her, justified, and procrastinated away every nudge I received. The result? I felt miserable and off-course in just about every aspect of my life:
- Physical well-being
- Emotional well-being
- My career
- Some relationships
- How I spent my time
You get the idea. I always knew what I wanted my destination to be but I was traveling a whole ‘nutha highway and was never going to get there if I didn’t change some things.
My program was originally intended to help align me with my Highest Self and included actionable steps to get me on-course toward the best life I envisioned for myself. I believed in it. I still do. I know that what I created can help women like me because, for a time, it helped me! I lost 17 pounds, ate healthier than I had in years, prioritized sleep, started a new book, and felt generally awesome–on top of my entire shit.
Since it helped me, I decided it would help others. I put my heart into every page as I tweaked it for a larger audience. Alas, I didn’t sell a single course. Probably because for me, selling things is the soul-equivalent of picking up warm poo with flimsy poo bags at the dog park.
Course Correct worked but didn’t. Not because it fails to work but because I failed to do the work consistently. I’d do the work, see big results, but then I’d slide into old, self-defeating habits again. And again. Yep…seriously…AGAIN.
That’s where I’m at now and I’m sick of it.
So, I’m re-assigning myself my own course. It started as a tool to help myself and so I’m going to go back to where I started–to what worked for me.
But there’s a super cool bonus!
Recently, my HS (Highest Self and I are on a nickname basis now) whispered that I should GIVE IT AWAY. FREE! HS told me that if my intention was truly to help people, that’s what I should do. With no expectation of profit or reward. Just the knowledge that I’m not the only one who feels off-course sometimes and that others might need a roadmap to get where they want to go.
So, I will share COURSE CORRECT with my dear Moxie Fruit readers in a series of blog posts. Alas, I’m an author, giving away a book-sized thing.
I recently posted on my author website www.tracyclarktlc.com that (for me) creating something is a broken circle if it doesn’t have a recipient. I write with the intention of there being a reader to receive it. When that happens, the circle is complete. Moxie Fruit is intended to be a site that explores, celebrates, inspires, and laughs at this crazy time called midlife. I want to create a community that uplifts and connects. I want us to be a circle. I want our Highest Selves to play together in our wacky midlife sandbox.
Watch this space. Course Correct is coming your way!
xo, Tracy
