Seems nothing can stress us out on a daily basis more than money. Studies have shown finances to be the one issue couples fight over more than any other. Most of our waking lives are spent in the pursuit of money or in the spending of it.
Is there more month at the end of your money? Do you feel the financial freedom to pursue joyful activities such as vacations or memorable life experiences? Do you have the goal of helping a child go to college? Are you on track for a comfortable retirement? How about an emergency fund?
These questions and more can cause a flurry of anxiety in our bodies. It’s no wonder the topic carries such heavy weight; our finances feel closely tied to our very survival.
I’ve had a complicated relationship with money for most of my life. My childhood was modest, to say the least. My earliest memories are of the trailer parks we lived in until I went to grade school. The duplex we moved to was a step up from that, but not a huge one. When our family moved to Los Angeles in the early ‘80s, we lived in a friend’s house until we bought the house next door. To put it mildly, the place was a dump when we first moved in.
As an adult, I always seemed to teeter on the brink of a financial breakthrough, but would then find myself in lack. Again and again. Though the Universe seemed to always provide, I was constantly scraping by, never in a true state of personal abundance.
Through the years, I’ve had to do serious work on my money mindset. I still struggle in this area and have come to believe it’s a fundamental lack of belief in my own worthiness. Accepting that the degree of my abundance is a symptom of my thoughts around abundance was and continues to be difficult for me. It’s so much easier to be a victim of circumstance than to claim ownership of our relationship to money.
Finances become an especially tricky topic if you’re self-employed or are an entrepreneur or artist. I’m a writer. I believe it’s my calling. But most writers can tell you that the new-agey mantra “Do what you love and the Universe will support you” can lead to a rabbit hole of doubt. I am doing what I love…where’s my abundance? But if I stop beating myself up for how money comes, I quickly see that the Universe IS supporting me. I simply forget to take note of how rich my life really is.
Being grateful for what is in your life at this moment will attract more good things. We tend to focus so much on what we don’t have that we obliterate the positive vibes of being grateful for the abundance in our lives today.
Gratitude is the doorway through which future abundance enters.
In order for my needs to be met and abundance to flow, I have to believe that the Universe provides abundance for following my calling. I have to know that I am worthy of success. I have to appreciate the goodness currently in my life in order to express to the Universe that I want more of that because I love it. Love and gratitude are the highest expressions of your Highest Self.
Success is a personal measure—not what others say success is. You may be perfectly happy living in a “tiny home” because you don’t want to jump into the rat race in order to eat. You may be happiest in a huge home with enough room to entertain a brood of friends and family. Multiple homes and a lavish life might be your bag. Success for you may simply be to live a good life with quiet and simple joys. You get to decide what success means for you!
Abundance is just as personal and if the sages are to be believed, only possible through our energetic alignment with what we want. If the feeling of abundance alludes you, take action in the following ways:
· Stop complaining! Constant ruminating about your situation only serves to keep you stuck in that situation. Transform your days by transforming the quality of what you say.
· Even more importantly, ruminate on what you DO want! Yes, I’m taking visualization. Yes, I believe in the power of giving more time to what we do want than what we don’t. In any case, wouldn’t you rather spend your thought equity on the good?
· Take your money seriously. Watch it. There are services like MINT that enable you to track your finances and see the big picture all at once. Know your budget and strive to live below your current income.
· Save. I don’t care how small the amount is—even coins add up! If you watch your spending habits for one month, you will see how we piss away our money in various ways. I’m certain that you can find a modest amount to set aside every month toward your financial goals. Some is better than nothing, always.
· Get grateful. We are so good at finding evidence for what we’re looking for. Look for lack and you will find it. Look for all the ways in which you are blessed, right now, this day, and you will see that there is much to be thankful for. That feeling of gratitude is a creative power.
Action Item:
Write down three to five financial goals or changes you’re committed to living by for 90 days.
