Are you riding the Judgment Train?
I don’t think there’s a person on this planet who hasn’t taken this train at some point in their life. Whether we like to admit it or not, we have been guilty of judging others and we have been the object of judgment. All aboard! But here’s the rub, even if you don’t consider yourself a judgmental person, and you generally live and let live, you can be an unwitting passenger on The Judgment Train. Here’s how to know if you’re along for a ride…
If you have a strong reaction to someone else’s judgment of you, (meaning you want to confront, defend, throw a pie at their face) then you, my friend, are a passenger on the Judgment Train. Two choices: buckle up or get the hell off.
Generally, we’re all wandering around doing our best at the Life Thing, right? Everyone has a path. No two of us will do it exactly the same. Nor should we. We express ourselves, love ourselves and others, work our work, drum our drums, and sing differently than anyone else has ever done on this planet. Awe-inspiring, right? You are literally one of a kind. I am one of a kind and I definitely live my life in a singularly Tracy way.
People have opinions. Okay, cool. Have them. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that they matter or are more valid than my own opinions about my life.
As unique individuals, with different life experiences, we are totally allowed to value different things. As long as we’re not being evil or an asshole, none of those values are more important than the others. Take a big breath before your next judgey thought or reckless statement about another and really take that in. Freedom is a value. Security is a value. Love, peace, striving, working hard, service to others, creativity, loyalty, independence, accountability, integrity, trust, authenticity…the list is endless and they are all on the smorgasbord of values.
Your plate may look different than mine but keep your eyes on your own plate, okay?
Others’ judgments say a whole lot more about them than they do about you. I know this. I tell my kids this. Yet, I’ve recently realized that when I feel the slings and arrows of others’ judgments, my triggers fire up like goosebumps on my psyche and I want to REACT, justify, explain, defend; make them see how wrong they are. But I’m growing up (phew) and slower to react (this is a work in progress.) What I realized while marinating in my hurt and angry feelings is that I’d hopped onto their Judgment Train.
My insecurities were my ticket.
So what if I’d rather live in uncertainty and use my gifts to create than sell my days to the highest bidder? So what if you don’t agree with someone else’s choices? Walk on by if you have issues with someone’s gender, sexuality, skin color, education, choice of work, or choice of hairstyle. It’s quite literally not your job on this earth to judge others so quit acting like you’re vying for CEO of Judgment, Inc. You think too highly of your opinions.
Can we, as a society, honor each other’s humanity and unique path and stop thinking that we are the authority how anyone should walk theirs? Walk your own, yo. Walk your own.
To the judged… I know it hurts. I’ve simply felt stung, misunderstood, and unaccepted. I can’t begin to imagine the hurt that comes from judgments over things you cannot and would not change; over your very identity. I can only offer what’s helped me…
I’ve let a swell of brazenness and defiance rise up in me. It’s a tidal wave of don’t give a damn. A conviction that this is MY LIFE and I will live it to my fullest in the way that will make me proud at the end of my precious time here. In a way that ensures I won’t regret the things I didn’t do.
I know who I am. I know what I’ve earned. I know my worth. I know how to follow my wild, creative heart. I know how to buck convention. I am a brave-ass bitch. I honor my own bravery and as long as I honor myself and my values, I know I’m on my right path.
I honor your individual right to live your values. Values define you. They are the glasses through which you see the world. Secret is, everyone’s sporting their own glasses. I honor your right to define success for your life. That doesn’t mean that you get to define success for mine. Hallelujah, this is my stop. When I let go of the insecurity and honor myself, I realize I don’t need to react. I’m simply disembarking and there’s so much power in that. I’m taking my little hobo-pack of uniqueness and hopping off the Judgment Train to step out into my one wild life and live it the way I see fit.
