For me, midlife started with a triumph and a tripwire.
Triumph: In the year prior to my 40th birthday, I felt like I was on the path to aging gracefully and thriving in midlife. I’d lost nearly 50 pounds and had finally put my dream of becoming a published author on the front burner of my life. It had taken a lot of inner-strength to take care of myself in these two fundamental, deeply personal ways.
I was feeling motivated, confident, and full of MOXIE! <– We love that word here at Moxie Fruit if you couldn’t tell. 🙂
Tripwire: My marriage was falling apart and emotional shrapnel cut into my heart on a daily basis. Would my kids be okay? Would my soon-to-be-ex be okay? How well would I cope with the loss of the family unit, with the loss of financial security, and the loss of dreams I once thought were “forever?”
Post-divorce: some things were going GREAT. My paranormal series sold to a publisher in a three-book deal. Yay!
I’d found love again and this time, it was love that was more aligned with what I truly needed from a relationship. (And I was very happy that my
The kids were adjusting and doing fantastic. Things were humming along…
But (BIG BUT) in my post-divorce efforts to take care of my kids, build my author-business so I could support myself, and care for my sweetheart through a huge health crisis, I was slowly drifting off-course in my self-care.
What I thought were temporary detours from my ideal life course morphed into a huge deviation from the direction I wanted to head.
I was getting seriously off-course and every step farther down that path made me more miserable.
So, how can you tell if you’re off-course and headed for a life you don’t want?
For the answer, I give you the three ways to tell. Well, the three F-WORDS to be more precise.
- FEAR
- FRUSTRATION
- FAILURE FATIGUE
Okay, technically that’s four F-words so consider that extra one a bonus!
FEAR
My normally positive thinking began to veer toward the unpleasant and negative. Every thought seemed to be a question steeped in fear.
(Would I be okay? Were my kids damaged by our divorce? Was I going to keep gaining weight back until I’d gained back all 50 pounds? Was I ever going to be able to support myself? Would my books be well-received or even read? Was I loveable or even likable to some people?) <– That last one was my anxiety talking a bit too loudly.
I felt the fear like a black vulture on my shoulder. That vulture gets pretty damn heavy when you carry him around all day, every day.
FRUSTRATION
The gap from where I was to where I most wanted to be was growing bigger and bigger and I felt immense frustration that I couldn’t simply leap over to the track that was more in tune with who I really was at my core—to the woman I knew was the best version of myself.
Every day that I continued off course left me feeling profoundly defeated. I went to bed every night, vowing the next day would be different. Inevitably, the following night would find me in the same pit of despair that I’d not managed to right myself YET AGAIN.
How could I say I wanted something so bad and yet not manage to actually follow through!? <– That’s me being too hard on myself–a bad habit of mine–but it’s how I felt.
FAILURE FATIGUE
I’d stopped and started to get back on course so many times and failed so many times that I’d become sick and tired of trying. It was exhausting to break so many promises to myself and I began to not trust my own word.
I needed a reset but Failure Fatigue was like a wall at the starting line. I just didn’t have the energy to even begin the climb up and over.
So, how did I finally pull up out of this nosedive?
One fateful weekend, I got REAL HONEST with myself and assessed my life and the direction I was headed if I didn’t make some changes.
Using some terminology from my experience as a private pilot, I designed a program for myself that I called, COURSE CORRECT. It was a 90-day overhaul of my entire life.
I was so desperate for change that I was willing to give myself over to this radical plan for 90 days to see if it would be the thing that would finally get me on course toward my best life.
Know what?
IT FREAKING WORKED!
Turns out, creating a solid plan (I call it
When friends asked me to explain how I did it, they wanted in! I shared Course Correct with them and their feedback was so positive that the idea of making it available to other midlife women was born.
If you feel the “F’s” “F’ing” up your life
and have a deep desire to leap from where you are now
to where you most want to be, give it a look.
Know that Moxie Fruit was also created for YOU. This site is wholly devoted to midlife women. I want it to be a place that uplifts, inspires,
Here’s to blue skies on your journey to aging gracefully, sisters!